YOUR EYES AS HONEY ISSUE 1 - FICTION ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
Two Girls Walk into a Bar
by Anel Perez Rodriguez
The usual crowd shuffled into the bar, gathering around the not-yet-sticky wooden counter. Conversation buzzed at the most comfortable volume to be heard all night long. Maisey turned to her coworker and said “I can already feel the hole in my pocket” glancing at the group of twenty-something hotshots in suits. Celia winced at her words. She didn’t mind living in a town ruled by the newly graduated, semi-professional men who wore suits with sneakers and an ever-present backpack. She had taken the job at the bar for that reason. Someone had suggested those guys were desperate to prove their importance and it was reflected in their bar tabs. What they had forgotten to mention was that the tips were not a reflection of this insecurity. She stayed at the bar because she hated starting new jobs. The air of knowing you’re doing something wrong but not knowing the right way to do it was something she preferred not to deal with whenever possible. It didn’t help that her writing hadn’t been bringing in as much money as she’d hoped. Plus, she didn’t mind the view. She had moved to Clinton for college. Somewhere away from home. She had done fine in her classes, mostly scraping by year after year. When she failed her first ever class during freshman year, all her other classes seemed easy in comparison. “Fresh meat” Maisey sneered Celia’s head shot up, desperate to make out the figure swallowed by the sweaty suits. One of the guys moved, revealing a girl, no, a woman, looking up at the handwritten menu. It would’ve been cliche, but true, to say she had never seen anyone like her. Everyone said Celia fell in love too fast. “Can I get a Jack and Coke?” a suit interrupted before she could reply to Maisey. “I got it!” Maisey called out while winking at Celia. The mystery woman shuffled her way up to the bar, resting her arm on the counter trying to widen the gap between her and the next person. Celia opened her mouth to greet her when a second, shorter woman appeared behind her. “Do you know what you’re getting?” “I thought I’d switch it up, but I think I’ll just get a vodka cran” Celia pretended she didn’t hear their conversation and asked, “What can I get you?” hiding her disappointment. “She’ll have a vodka cran and I’ll have one of your ciders. What’s your favorite?” Celia didn’t like being overly confident, but she could’ve sworn the woman standing in front of her had just done the triangle method on her. “Yeah, what's your favorite…?” her friend trailed off in a taunting tone “Celia.” “Celia” the first woman repeated. “I like the seasonal one, Berry Hard” Celia replied feeling her cheeks flush as she uttered the cheesy name written on the board “I’ll get that one, then” the woman smiled. “Of course you will, Hazel” her friend said, finally revealing her name. “Celia said that’s her favorite one! How can I claim to know better than the bartender, Eden?” Hazel teased Celia stood silent witnessing the interaction unfold in front of her. She felt a little embarrassed at the fact that she couldn’t help but find both women attractive. Their playful nature took Celia by surprise, a refreshing experience amidst her usual customer interactions. At first she had thought they were lovers by the way they held each other’s hands while studying the menu. However, the subtle flirting Hazel had unleashed on Celia made her think otherwise. Maybe they were looking for a third. “Celia looks like she has good taste” Eden professed while staring at Celia’s lips. Celia was sure now they were both flirting with her, a little taken aback by their boldness. “Open or closed?” she asked, secretly hoping it was the first option. “Open” the friends blurted out in unison. “Is it on one card?” “Separate” Hazel revealed with a slight smile on her lips. “Oh, sorry, I thought that you guys were…” Celia left room for them to fill in the gaps. “We’re not dating, if that’s what you’re thinking” Eden interjected, clearly the more confident of the two. “Everyone thinks we are” she continued “I don’t think Hazel could handle all this” she joked. Celia admired the way they seemed to be simultaneously playing wing-woman for each other while also casting out their own line. She guessed they made a game out of it, and judging by their confidence, they were each successful about fifty percent of the time. Deciding which one she liked more was going to be an impossible task. Hazel was beautiful and more reserved, but still willing to put herself out there. Eden didn’t hold back in the looks or flirting department. Celia always made the mistake of getting involved with people who required her to be the outgoing one in the relationship. Either of the choices standing in front of her would be a nice change of pace. Since the bar was still mostly empty, she didn’t feel bad about giving them some more of her attention for a bit. As she turned to make up their drinks, she caught Maisey giving her a less than subtle thumbs up.
Pressing on a Bruise
by Lillian Wissler
I’ve been saying her name into empty rooms a lot. For the echo. It’s an old habit of mine, a raking over hot coals for a breakup only endless in my mind. Since meeting Lucy, the habit has gotten worse. More than likely made so by how well we pair into each other’s lives. My sabotaging instincts stretch and scream against her softness, her kindness. The worst, most self-deprecating parts of my mind grip me by the shirt front. I keep telling Lucy stories, stories that start with “my ex and I.” A tactic I have developed to scare her off, yet she gives this small smile that responds, “I know you. I know your kind.” I have done my best to give her back an eyebrow arch that says, “No, you don’t. Run from me. Run.” The windows are open; it is springtime, and the neighborhood dogs are barking. Lucy and I lay in my bed, our skin sticking with sweat. I have just finished one of those “my ex and I” stories, trying to not make Lucy feel as special as she absolutely is to me. “You know,” Lucy says, “you never say your ex’s name.” I know I haven’t said it, and even as I begin to argue with Lucy in my mind that I know I haven’t said it and here are a thousand reasons why, I recognize that it’s been partially subconscious. When I try to explain with the subtext of my words that I don’t want Lucy, can’t want her, that I am stuck in the past with my ex, my behavior screams the opposite. Lucy sees this, Lucy knows. Lucy is stubborn, and I am a wreck. I think Lucy’s stubbornness, her want to see everything through, is her own form of self-sabotage. I think we are horrifically well met. I think Lucy saw this first. I think I am just now catching up. I open my mouth to spill my excuses, and then I shut it. I find that I can’t say my ex’s name, either. I don’t want to sully the air with it; it’s not about my ex’s name or even about my ex at all anymore. I turn my face into Lucy’s neck, away from the sunlight streaming through the window, searching for something vapid, an anything affliction to mark the end of a meaningless romance as a way to escape breaking into the untracked. But I also realize that this is not meaningless, and I don’t want this to be the end. I don’t think I know what my ex looks like anymore, and it suddenly feels like extreme luck that I can even remember her name in this second. I think my mind has stretched her into a walking amalgamation of all the hurts I have ever suffered. I fear Lucy will ask about her appearance next, and I will have to reach for my phone to show her rather than explain it my myself. I peel my face back out of the crook of Lucy’s neck; the heat makes it hard to breathe. A spider crawls up the post of my bedside table; I see myself in all eight of its eyes. I am sick of the game. I suck in a breath and release my ex’s name into the air, let Lucy’s eyes widen not with recognition but with shock that I’d share it after all this time. Lucy places a palm against my sternum, leverages herself up to look down into my eyes. Lucy smiles at me. I repeat my ex’s name again. Into the full room. For the echo.
Pressing on a Bruise
by Lillian Wissler
I’ve been saying her name into empty rooms a lot. For the echo. It’s an old habit of mine, a raking over hot coals for a breakup only endless in my mind. Since meeting Lucy, the habit has gotten worse. More than likely made so by how well we pair into each other’s lives. My sabotaging instincts stretch and scream against her softness, her kindness. The worst, most self-deprecating parts of my mind grip me by the shirt front. I keep telling Lucy stories, stories that start with “my ex and I.” A tactic I have developed to scare her off, yet she gives this small smile that responds, “I know you. I know your kind.” I have done my best to give her back an eyebrow arch that says, “No, you don’t. Run from me. Run.” The windows are open; it is springtime, and the neighborhood dogs are barking. Lucy and I lay in my bed, our skin sticking with sweat. I have just finished one of those “my ex and I” stories, trying to not make Lucy feel as special as she absolutely is to me. “You know,” Lucy says, “you never say your ex’s name.” I know I haven’t said it, and even as I begin to argue with Lucy in my mind that I know I haven’t said it and here are a thousand reasons why, I recognize that it’s been partially subconscious. When I try to explain with the subtext of my words that I don’t want Lucy, can’t want her, that I am stuck in the past with my ex, my behavior screams the opposite. Lucy sees this, Lucy knows. Lucy is stubborn, and I am a wreck. I think Lucy’s stubbornness, her want to see everything through, is her own form of self-sabotage. I think we are horrifically well met. I think Lucy saw this first. I think I am just now catching up. I open my mouth to spill my excuses, and then I shut it. I find that I can’t say my ex’s name, either. I don’t want to sully the air with it; it’s not about my ex’s name or even about my ex at all anymore. I turn my face into Lucy’s neck, away from the sunlight streaming through the window, searching for something vapid, an anything affliction to mark the end of a meaningless romance as a way to escape breaking into the untracked. But I also realize that this is not meaningless, and I don’t want this to be the end. I don’t think I know what my ex looks like anymore, and it suddenly feels like extreme luck that I can even remember her name in this second. I think my mind has stretched her into a walking amalgamation of all the hurts I have ever suffered. I fear Lucy will ask about her appearance next, and I will have to reach for my phone to show her rather than explain it my myself. I peel my face back out of the crook of Lucy’s neck; the heat makes it hard to breathe. A spider crawls up the post of my bedside table; I see myself in all eight of its eyes. I am sick of the game. I suck in a breath and release my ex’s name into the air, let Lucy’s eyes widen not with recognition but with shock that I’d share it after all this time. Lucy places a palm against my sternum, leverages herself up to look down into my eyes. Lucy smiles at me. I repeat my ex’s name again. Into the full room. For the echo.
𓆸 Fiction Inspiration for 𓊆Issue 1𓊇 Pt. 1
Read from Your Eyes as Honey's favorite short story collections:
recs from Taylor Payne and Reem Kadimi




Stag Dance by Torrey Peters
Mouth: Stories by Puloma Ghosh
Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado
Kissing the Witch: Old Tales in New Skins by Emma Donoghue.

Blood Feast by Malika Moustadraf


A Safe Girl to Love
by Casey Plett
grl2grl: A collection by Julie Anne Peters
𓆸 Fiction Inspiration for 𓊆Issue 1𓊇 Pt. 2
Read from Your Eyes as Honey's favorite novels and authors:
recs from Taylor Payne and Reem Kadimi

This is How You Lose the Time War by Max Gladstone and Amal El-Mohtar

Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu

Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown

Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters
